HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY COMMUNICATION

Therapy is often used to think about communication patterns.  What is your communication style? Is it different with your partner and with others?  Most couples have communication patterns that serve them well or otherwise.  During arguments or disagreements do you attack, criticise,  pre-empt, retreat, appease?  Can you separate feeling from thought when angry?

HEALTHY AND UNHEALTHY COMMUNICATION

Do you avoid discussion or initiate discussion?

Can you self validate or do you need validation from your partner?

Can you regulate your own anxiety or do you expect reassurance from your partner?

Can you maintain your own sense of self worth or do you depend on your partner to do that?

Can you self soothe or do you depend upon your partner to calm you?

Does a fear of abandonment ever influence your responses or communication patterns?

Do you disclose only what your partner will validate? Or disclose whatever you want.

Can you regulate your emotions and control your behaviour during conflict?

Do you take ‘time out’ for repair or rescheduling or are you withdrawing, walking out or sulking?

Are you able to explain a feeling without blame?

Are you able to keep commitments?  Give clear messages? Clarify expectations? Sincerely apologise? Take responsibility for your feelings and actions?