SEPARATION FROM A CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE

SEPARATION FROM A CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE

WHAT YOUR CHILD NEEDS NEXT:

My dear parents,

You’ve decided to separate and will be living in separate houses now. I’m very young and there’s a lot of things I don’t understand yet.

It would help me so much if you let me:-

• Love and like both of you.

• Enjoy time with both of you separately.

• See you coming together to my school concerts, activities and parent evenings.

• Move without stress from one house to another.

• Be your child. I’m not your confidante, friend or therapist.

It upsets me and makes me feel bad if you:-

• Say horrible things about the other to me.

• Talk to me about money.

• Ask me loads of questions about my time with mum/dad.

• Argue in front of me or when I can hear.

• Ask me to keep secrets or to lie.

• Interrogate me about new partners.

• Ask me to make decisions that I’m too young to make.

Please free me from:-

• Passing on messages between you.

• Thinking I have to protect you. It’s your job to protect me.

• Feeling guilty. Adult decisions are your responsibility not mine.

• Being a referee or a mediator.

With love from,

Your child